OMG! Can this be true……



I was out having a browse around the shopping centre a while ago and found myself in one of my favourite stores, namely Topshop, a worldwide clothing retail company.

Later that night it struck me how often the word Top is linked to other words, yet this doesn’t apply to the word brat!!!
My theory was then born that Tops are actually insidiously taking over the world, phrase by phrase. For example we have all heard of phrases like:

Top dollar
Top hat/coat
Top flight
Top class
Top brass

However these phrases can also be interpreted as:-

Top dollar.              Their own currency – therefore banking system
Top hat /coat.         Their own dress code – identifiable to other Tops
Top flight                Their own airline – access worldwide
Top class                 Their own education system – specialist training for Tops
Top brass                Their own hierarchy – so who is the Top’s Top???

I took this opportunity to discuss my obviously sound theory with my Top. I asked her outright if there was some subtle subterfuge afoot to dominate the world?…

Why was I not surprised to receive an enigmatic smile in response! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Undaunted I continued the discussion about this weird phenomenon regarding the phrases and between us Shannon and I came up with this short list of examples we thought were excellent in showing our differing opinions of their meanings… 

TOP SPEED Number of milliseconds it takes to work out what the brat has done The ACTUAL legal speed limit (even though there are no other vehicles for hundreds of miles!)👿
TOP HEAVY Gathering of Tops Waaaaay too many Tops!
TOP STORY Truth of the situation Her version of your innocent actions
TOP WHACK Warning swat If that was a warning swat, I’m not sitting down for a week!
TOP DRAWER Place where treasured implements are kept A place that should be hermetically sealed forever!
TOP DOG Sniffer dog for Top’s ‘missing’ implements Even the best treats in the world can’t stop this dog. So much for being a brat’s best friend!
TOP SHELF Things meant to be out of a brat’s reach A place no self respecting brat wants to go
SLEEP LIKE A TOP In a state of total awareness even whilst asleep One day she will sleep like a normal person!
TOP SPOT Top’s favourite chair Commonly known as our ‘sit spot’
TOPSY-TURVY When a brat twists her Top’s words Too many Tops Tipples!
TOP PRIORITY The way things SHOULD have been done! Probably the last item on a brat’s ‘To Do’ list…if it is even on there at all!
TOP SPIN Unravelling a brat’s version to get to the truth Distorting your well thought out story using Top logic!
TOPLOADED Top armed with implements Top armed and dangerous. Best to stay well away!
TOP QUALITY How well the consequences worked. Assessment of swatability for potential new implements
OVER THE TOP Drama of a brat When your Top refuses to accept your story and continues to question you, obviously unnecessarily!
TOP RATE Rating system for implements The speed at which she is swatting you

So whilst they have an everyday definition in the real world, it is still my strongly held view they are the Tops’ secret communication code that is subtly invading our language ready to take over the world!

So what do you think ladies, both brat and Top alike , is it a diabolical plot? Are there other examples that you know of ? 

I need my theory to be proved so I really want your help please because for some strange reason I have the impression my Top is not believing me! – Can’t think why ? 😈 


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