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What attracted you to TTWD

Okay ladies it is time for a new discussion and I will start it off.  I think the thing that attracted me to TTWD was the fact that I was really self destructive in my late teens and 20’s and I felt totally lost. I wanted so badly for someone to come along, take me by the hand and tell me it was not okay to be doing the things I was doing, to show me they cared by setting boundaries and limits in my life, and to have consequences if those things were broken. I was looking for someone to say “I care about you and you are worth it”. That never happened, but when I did get my life in order I vowed I never wanted anyone to experience feeling the way I did. That sense of being lost and like no one really cares is horrible and I was going to do what I could to help others.

I have consistently gravitated towards spanking, it has always been an interest of mine so I started researching what was then called Domestic Discipline and I also checked out the BDSM scene. I was very fortunate to meet a wonderful woman and her partner who had been in the “scene” for a number of years and they took me under their wing and taught me all they knew, most importantly the differences between BDSM and TTWD. This was back in the early 90’s when the internet was not so readily available. So when I felt confident in what I was doing I became a Top and started “mentoring” women (as it was called then) helping and guiding them to better themselves through TTWD. So that is what attracted me to TTWD. I am looking forward to reading what you ladies have to say.

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10 thoughts on “What attracted you to TTWD”

  1. I have had a sexual interest in spanking since very early childhood. I would become sexually aroused when thinking about it at an age when I didn’t understand what sexual arousal was which was confusing and somewhat terrifying. Back then I mostly fantasised about being spanked by authority figures such as older family members and teachers. I would also play games with friends where one of us was the parent and the other was a naughty child who got spanked. During later childhood, I watched a lot of old movies that had spanking scenes between adults and became fascinated with the idea of disciplinary spanking within the context of a romantic relationship. At this point, I was still oblivious to the fact my interest in spanking had a sexual component.

    I became aware of the sexual aspect around the age of 12 or 13 and started doing internet research when I was about 14. I discovered domestic discipline and decided that was what I wanted in a relationship. Unfortunately, the domestic discipline websites I came across were the ones that heavily linked the practice to gender roles, making claims that women were inherently less capable of making correct moral decisions and that it was the responsibility of a husband to keep his wife’s behaviour in check. Many of the people on these websites subscribed to the view that absolutely everyone should be practising domestic discipline and that it had the capacity to solve most social problems. Looking back on it I suspect that very few of these people had real experience with practising DD but at the time being young and impressionable I internalised a lot of very misogynistic views that I then had to unlearn when I got older.

    I think at the time part of my interest in DD came from a desire for stability. I was raised by a single mother who was struggling with mental health issues. She did the best she could under the circumstances. As an adult I know she loves me, I have an understanding of just how hard it was for her, and I have the utmost respect for her. However, as a child I didn’t have that level of understanding. Sometimes I would get away with things I knew I shouldn’t, sometimes I would be in trouble and have no idea why. In some areas of my life she was extremely overinvolved and in other’s she came across as disinterested. Paradoxically, I felt both smothered and neglected at the same time. I think I was desperate for clear boundaries, a parental figure who was consistent and able to make me feel secure. I think that combined with my sexual interest in spanking led me to find the idea of DD very appealing.

    When I was about 19 I got involved in my local BDSM community which was a bit scary as at the time I was adamant that I wasn’t into BDSM only spanking. However, I couldn’t find any DD related groups in my country so it seemed like the best option available. I’m very glad I made that decision as I have met some wonderful people and come to realise BDSM is much more diverse than I initially thought. I have had the opportunity to experiment with kinks beyond spanking and found that I enjoy some of them.
    Now, having lived out of home for 5 years, completed a university degree and got a job, I feel more confident in my capacity to do things independently. I’m less interested in a mentorship style DD/TTWD relationship but I still have a sexual interest in discipline so I want some aspects of TTWD present in my relationships but with a bit of a BDSMy twist.

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  2. How did I get involved in TTWD? Well, to begin with, I’ve been interested in spanking for as long as I can remember even before puberty. It was an interest I think that I was born with. Every time someone talked about it or if there was a scene on TV or in a movie my insides would tingle and I would find myself way more than passively interested. When I got my first phone with internet I began googling spanking and quickly started reading spanking stories. I did this in complete secrecy for many years. However, I began to notice the kinds of stories I liked more than others. The ones were the couple had a deep caring consensual relationship and I found myself seeking out those more than others and then I even realized I liked the F/f stories more than others too and focused on those, but that bit it for another time. Well, I quickly read all of those I could find and so I decided one day, when I was bored, to try my hand at writing stories. One thing led to another and I created a blog and started writing. In that process, I delurked on several other spanking blogs. When I did I met some very amazing women and they led me to where I am now. I didn’t have the knowledge that a Top or even brat is what I had been searching for a long time. But through many long conversations and a lot of late nights, I began to realize that it was what I had been looking for. I had spent my early twenties wandering a lot through life and feeling a lot of empty and lonely. When I began to be active in TTWD I didn’t feel that way anymore. In hindsight I know I was looking for someone to take me by the hand and guide me for a while and yes even help me stop doing some of those really dangerous habits. And having brats in my life also helped fill a role that is just as important. I need to feel like I’m helping someone and yes I do like a little bit of control. I’m thankful every day that I’ve found this TTWD community this past year. It is definitely something I never thought I would have, but can’t imagine my life without now.

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    1. Logan thanks for sharing this. One thing that strikes me is how powerful the written word is. Everyone commenting or people I’ve spoken with, they pretty much all say about the stories they’ve read. At least we all know there is a need for this genre of stories.

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  3. Well…I guess I am pretty lonely about saying…I wasn’t. It has never crossed my mind and i have never been driven to it…not even a bit curious until my wife told me this summer she had these needs. Francly i was not jumping in happily then either lol. I was more devistated and crushed i think. I had to turn myself inside out and up side down. Leaving a lot of my moral and thought about what i thought was right or wrong behind me. I had to build a new me. It probably sounds strange for you, but I am only in to this because my wife needs it. Out of love for her i can in some ways please her. She cant get everything she might need, but I think we have reached a middle way in this. I sure hope so. Any questions feel free to ask.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Freja I am so happy to see you. 🙂 Please my friend if you ever have any questions please feel free to ask. Wookie and I want this to be a safe place for everyone. If I can help you out in anyway please know I am here. As for TTWD there is no “right” way each person tends to find what works for them. I know myself that I would do whatever I needed to do to make Wookie happy but I would also have to stay true to myself. From what you have told me it sounds like you and Robin have found that middle ground I am so happy for both of you. For me TTWD is always done in love and Never Ever out of anger. For me it is just another way to show Wookie how much I love her. If I am helping out other ladies again it is just a way for me to show them I care about them and I am there for them.

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    2. To aim to meet half way – i think thats how to make a relationship work. I have changed abit from what i thought i needed or wanted in the beginning. But honestly i think i have given up very little and you certainly give me all I need Freja… Thank you for everything love. Its you who walked the longest distance in this, so far.

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    3. Freja and Robin you truly are one amazing couple. Robin all kudos to you for having the courage to speak to your wife about your needs. So many people, myself included, found it easier to hide or bury it. Freja I think you are one very special person and Robin is so lucky to have you as her wife. You did not shy away, refuse outright or even just ignore it. You took the time to look inwards and considered carefully what was the best approach. You were prepared to build a ‘new you’ as you said.
      From then onward the two of you are moving forward adapting as you go. All this is working because you obviously have a love so incredibly strong between you. May your life together continue to build and become even richer because you sure do deserve it. 😁

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Thank you Wookie for your beautiful words and wishes. I wish the same for you and Shannon. 😘It was you and the gang who gave me that courage you know…Im more grateful than i can express for that. And Youre right im very very lucky to have Freja!😊

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