Stories, Wookie & EM the Biker Brats

Wookie & EM – The Irish Wedding! (Pt 1)

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Part 1 – Pit Stop at the Diner.

Wookie pulled into the Diner’s car park, turned off the engine and secured her bike and helmet. Checking it was safe Wookie patted the Star Wars emblazoned helmet before entering the Diner.
Sitting in a large empty booth she checked her phone seeing a text from EM, her bffff of like for ever!…*Hey Willie..running late..catch ya in 10..EM*
A startled look appeared on Wookie’s face ‘Willie…huh ’ she thought as another text flashed quickly on her screen *Arrgghh feckin autocorrect…Wookie not Willie…dammit * The last time EM’s phone had done that was at the theme park a while ago and that had caused uproar then.
Wookie couldn’t help chuckling which soon morphed into giggling as she imagined EM’s outrage at her phone.
This brought the attention of the waitress who appeared with the ever present pot of coffee checking with Cookie that she wanted some before filling the cup in front of her. Wookie ordered wings, medium hot, and a couple of beers but would she mind waiting until Wookie’s friend arrived…the waitress grinned..”Would that be the one with the lovely Irish accent ?”
Wookie stared in surprise “ you remembered us ?”
“Heck yeh…not often you get a couple of ghouls walk in the place trust me!” she grinned again patting Wookie on the arm as she walked away.
Wookie sat there dreaming for a minute as she recalled the last time she and EM had been here and ended up sitting at this very booth..
Suddenly a gentle slap on her her arm shook her out of her reverie as she stared into the face of her laughing friend.
“Ya look like ya’d swallowed a sweet and croaked up a frog!” EM’s phrases were always weird but strangely funny. Wookie stood as they exchanged hugs.
“Wings and beers are ordered EM…… and would you believe the waitress remembered us from last time …”
“Oh the ghouls and meeting the Bikers” EM stated staring incredulously at Wookie “Really…wow”
“Yeh and as I recall you called me Willie then too!”
EM stared blankly at her for a few seconds before a horrified look spread across her face as she grabbed her phone scanning the text she’d sent…groaning loudly “so help me I’ll be feeding this feckin phone to an industrial waste disposal unit!,damn autocorrect.!’ she fumed.
Wookie grinned from ear to ear…”That was pretty much what you said the last time too EM. Hey that was one heck of blast wasn’t it EM do you remember..”
“Do I ever Wooks…Jaysus I’ll never forget it…” as they both started reminiscing ….

In a theme park far, far, far, far away Wookie and EM had decided it would be a good idea to dress up as ghouls for real and go onto the ghost train..just to put some ‘real life action’ into the ride!
//Uh what’s with the sharp intakes of breath readers? Don’t tell me you don’t think dressing up and scaring the other riders witless is a good idea…I will simply put it down to you so wishing you had been there!…and I can see some of you taking notes…Anyhoo where was I … //
Oh yes so both EM and Wookie were suitably garbed in rags, fake blood and some incredible makeup effects , complete with hanging pieces of skin…actually EM thought the whole effect took years off Wookie but she thought it wise not to tell her….just in case ….
Having entered the ghost train set and finding their way to the turntable where the train would do a fast spin turnaround, they had waited for the train to arrive.
As it pulled onto the turntable they leapt into an empty seat and proceeded to terrorise the family sitting in the next box. Having initially caused the family to scream for real, being suddenly presented with very realistic looking ghouls, the kids screamed with laughter as Wookie pulled ghoulish faces at them whilst their snobby parents looked on in disgust, until Wookie made to look as though she was going to climb over the carriage walls blowing kisses at the horrified woman and making lewd noises at the mortified man. With a maniacal laugh she jumped back down and fled from the train hotly followed by EM.
A short visit to the firing range and a most definite ‘not their fault’ incident whereby the telegraph wires were “accidentally” shot down causing half the rides to shut down gave the girls the idea to remove their presence from the park rather sharpish.
EM could find a bike anywhere even if she was wrapped up in a sensory deprivation suit!.. so not so surprised Wookie found herself , with helmet on, careening down the highway at a rate of knots best not discussed, hanging on to EM like grim death.
A few miles up the road and EM pulls the bike round, screeching to a stop. Somewhat shaken rather than stirred Wookie clambered off and followed EM into the diner.
Grabbing a booth they quickly gave their order and casually glanced around the place. It was busy which was a good sign. The staff were really efficient too as the waitress came with their order of beers, wings and banana splits. EM had never seen anything as huge as the banana split that was placed in front of her. She grinned at Wookie! Now that’s indulgence for ya!
Grabbing a wing, she bit into it and pulled…….a little too hard! The wing flew from her hand, went sailing across the room and hit a lady on the back of the head! Turning slowly the woman scanned the room until her gaze fell on EM and Wookie! Her eyes narrowed. She turned to the other three she was with and nodded her head subtly in the direction of the two brats!
When they stood up, EM stole a glance at Wookie. They were tall, well built ladies, complete with tatooes and muscles. Lots of very big muscles!
Wookie ducked as she saw the escaping wing. Then saw the wide-eyed look come over EM’s face.EM groaned…..
“Ah fer feck sake! Here we go again! Get ready ta run like two men and a wee fella Wookie! Those girls dont look too happy and we are kinda outnumbered!”……
Hearing her groan and say about running Wookie’s instincts knew there was potential trouble.
Quick as a flash she leapt up, gulped and went up to the 4 unhappy looking extras from a ‘Clash of the Titans’ movie.
“Ladies, on behalf of my friend and I please accept our apologies for the mishap. We’ve just experienced a very, very traumatic event and my friend is rather shaken up still and wasn’t watching what she was doing. ” Wookie kept looking at all of them and decided to carry on as they hadn’t punched her yet..” It has even had an effect on her mind. She keeps calling me Willie when she texts me and I ask you, you can see I’m a girl… right?” Wookie made a ‘tsk’ sound
“My name’s Willie.. ” growled the tallest, broadest, most muscled, tattooed one of the bunch …
” and the finest example of womanhood alive if I may say so. Very pleased to meet you …er Willie. ..and my name’s Wookie” Wookie replied without missing a beat as she held out her hand with her life flashing before her!
The woman glared at her but didn’t move so Wookie babbled on “ladies please allow us to buy you brunch and beers to apologise again and perhaps we could all make a fresh start and get to know one another better.” Wookie stepped back and motioned to the booth behind that was free and big enough for all of them. Holding her breath she waited as did EM…
As one they all slapped Wookie and EM on the back almost knocking them over and dived into the booth shouting orders for more food and beers all round.
EM and Wookie glanced at each other heaving huge sighs of relief and joined them at the table
Intros all round meant they were now bosom buddies with Willie, Stag, Monty and…. Hermione! Both the girls kept their mouths tightly closed, biting their cheeks so as not to laugh at Hermione’s name!
EM had nearly choked when she heard the first woman say her name was Willie!
“Ah fer the love of all the saints and everything Holy, THAT would have ta be her name!”, she thought.She had prayed to whatever entity there may be above to give her the strength not to do what she most wanted at that moment……burst out laughing.
Then she heard her new friend say her name was Hermione and almost wet herself.
“Jaysus, I cant cope with this” she though
The beers arrived and cheers and slainté were said all round when Willie asked ” Wookie why is there a piece of skin hanging from your face”. Wookie felt it and said seriously “I’m a ghoul and have been to the fair riding the ghost train…”
The four Titans burst into hysterical laughter, slapping each other’s arms and banging the table….
Wookie and EM thought it was a bit over the top til Monty pulled out her phone and showed it to the girls ” you’re the ones on twitter right?” ………
When Twitter was mentioned, the two girls whooped with laughter.
“Yer kiddin me!” laughed EM
“Na, I’m not!, said Willie choking with laughter again “You gals are famous!”
Monty showed the girls all the comments, photos and videos showing on Twitter gleefully exclaiming over the Tunnel incident with the uptight family and Wookie’s maniacal windup of them. Wookie obviously had to give a demonstration of her crazy stunt complete with face and other gestures, directing it at Willie, which ended up her falling onto Willie’s lap. Willie planted a huge smacker on Wookie’s cheek and managed to get a piece of skin stuck to her lips!
“Yeurch! ” she yelled scrubbing at her face to remove said skin … meanwhile Hermione stood up, leant over and grabbing Wookie by her collar yanked her up away from Willie, shook her a bit and set her down next to EM.
” Best you stay there, away from my Snuggle Puff!” she intoned in a sultry voice of the purest alto Wookie had ever heard, who was now staring between He-man Hermione and the Hulk Willie in complete shock and awe.
“Well ain’t love grand !” Wookie mumbled  smiling weakly …….EM looked like she was in catatonic shock and had a death grip on Wookie’s arm …​​
EM shook herself out of her shock at seeing part of Wookie’s face now hanging from Willie’s lips!
She glared when she saw He-man Hermione manhandle her friend! How dare she! He? It was unclear….
“Hey! Keep yer hair on and keep yer big paws ta yerself while yer at it! It was an accident! Wookie has no interest in yer SNUGGLE PUFF!”
EM could contain herself no longer……she turned to Wookie. Hey ChewieBear!…Ya ready ta hit the road?..she looked innocently at Wookie before bursting into peals of laughter!
Seeing the dark looks on the faces of He-man Hermione and Man Mountain Willie, EM decided it definitely was time for her and Wookie to take their leave. It would probably be safer, she thought.
Struggling to get her laughter under control and keep her face straight, she said,
“Right Wookie! Let’s go hun. Time ta get back ta the others!”
She reached across the table, grabbed her beer and drained the glass! Putting the glass back on the table, she accidentally nudged the plate containing one of the untouched banana splits which was now a melted gooey mess!
She watched in horror as the plate slid to the edge of the table, wobbled precariously on the edge, tipped and unceremoniously dumped its contents in He-man Hermione’s lap………
Wookie’s face was a picture of horror as she watched the melted banana split plate tip oh so very slowly into Hermione’s lap…… Garbling some incoherent sentences Wookie attempted to clean it up with her handkerchief and a cloth napkin which she saw lying on the table and grabbed quickly, trying to staunch the flow of mucky goo from spreadIng any further! Considering the plate was in the poor woman’s lap, Wookie’s hardworking efforts meant she was wiping, rather vigorously, towards a somewhat intimate area, which was evidentially highlighted by the sudden glazed look that started to appear on He-m… Hermione’s face!
Willie, who had leapt, surprisingly quickly considering her size, to her feet happened to glance towards Hermione and spotted the expression.
“Hey Wookie what the f#*k do you think you’re doing groping my Sugar Britches?” as she leaned towards them intending to grab Wookie’s arm. Unfortunately Wookie straightened up and caught the edge of the table, causing her to overbalance forward once more, into the arms of Hermione landing with her arms around Hermione’s neck which infuriated Willie who lunged at her and ended up pulling them both to the floor.
Hermione continued to sit there still with the same glazed look on her face.
Scrabbling about Wookie avoided Willie’s hands trying to grab hold of her as the others moved the table allowing the pair to get up.
EM could see Stag finally make a move towards Wookie and she swiftly threw the contents of the beer pitcher over her making Stag stagger back…Oh so that’s where she gets her name from EM thought idly before turning back in time to see Monty jerk Wookie round just as Willie threw a punch towards her. EM , quick as a flash dived at Wookie rugby tackling her to the ground as Willie’s fist ,missing Wookie landed solidly on Monty’s nose, knocking her out.
EM caught hold of Wookie’s shirt and started dragging her out under the feet of the women growling ” Time ta get the feck outta here Wooks, like NOW!” just as Willie stumbled over Wookie’s feet and tripped, falling against the table causing her to go backwards and into Stag knocking them both back to the ground.
Scrambling over the fallen women Wookie and EM made short work of diving out the back door, round to the bike and with helmets just about on their heads, EM had the bike roaring down the highway towards the fairground.
“Aaiiyyuuu! ” Wookie screamed as EM screamed “something totally unintelligible, pronounceable or able to be spelt with an English keyboard ” in Irish as the adrenalin kicked in at relief of escaping hit them!
Belting down the highway, neither giving a hot damn to speed limits, they saw the park come into view.
Slowing down the pair quickly saw a small gap in the fence and EM pulled over, shut the bike down and secured both it and the helmets. Then they both eased through the gap, checking to see who was about……… So far so good. Wookie held her thumb up as they walked over to the refreshment bar….

“Wow that was some escapade Wooks. Wonders if we’ll ever see them again “ EM looked around just a tad nervously …
“Nah they’ll be long gone I’ll bet “ Wookie grinned, ever the positive one.
Just then the door opened….
A loud, beautifully modulated alto voice sang out” Wooooookiiiieeee…” before enveloping her in a massive pair of arms and twirling around with her before setting the dazed Wookie down and grabbing EM for her twirl too!
“Hey girls its great to see you , we’ve really missed you. Where have you been, what have you been up to? Oooh! now I can tell you our amazing news. Willie and I are getting married! …” she almost squealed in excitement “ yes we really are and we are doing the deed in Ireland, home of my ancestors!” Hermione announced proudly and had to pause for breath since she looked to be turning rather red in the face, a fact noticed by the girls who were rather hoping she didn’t keel over since she would have squashed them both!… one deep breath in and the bride-to-be continued unabated “you are both coming to our wedding, right Willie?” as she turned and looked to Willie who stood there grinning from ear to ear…
“Yep thats right girls…you gotta come to our bash…and we ain’t taking no for an answer. Ya hear?” she looked sternly at Wookie and EM, who turned, stared at each other…before leaping in the air, double high fiving as they yelled in unison “Hell yeh!”……



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