I was once asked “how would you describe yourself?” My reply was a life coach with a twist. The twist…. I’m a Top.
A Top is someone who works in partnership with a Brat (Sometimes called a Bottom) to help guide the Brat to become the person they want to be. This is achieved by agreement of setting rules and boundaries aimed towards reaching their goals.
My role as the Top is to encourage , support and guide the Brat to progress. However should the Brat elect to break the rules or cross the boundaries then I administer the consequences following such actions. I ensure the Brat accepts and takes responsibility for her actions thus attaining a clean slate, removal of guilt and the means to move forward with a fresh start for us both.
Mostly the consequences include a spanking but not always. They can be simply lines, reports or groundings or these can be in addition to the spanking dependent on the offense itself.
One point I emphatically need to clarify… I am NOT a Domme or Mistress. I do NOT have a sub or slave. These roles belong to the BDSM world. They are a clearly defined hierarchy too…the Domme or Mistress is higher in status than a sub or slave. They deal in control and punishment. If a sub or slave offends in any way they are punished. No discussion, no empathy, no moving forward…done deal.
I am a Top and I work with the Brat. It is an equal relationship. We discuss everything and I ensure I listen to her view. The rules laid down are not rigid. There can be exceptions , if for no other logical reason than life happens! So before consequences are decided we discuss the situation and we BOTH agree the consequences. Trust me, this does not mean the Brat willingly agrees to a spanking but she understands there should be consequences in this instance.
Thus when I do have to discipline her it is conducted in a caring, loving manner designed to motivate her to achieve her goals. It is geared to be a positive action to promote a way forward. The most important aspect of consequences is it provides a clean slate, allowing the Brat to remove any guilt as she has taken responsibility for her actions and faced the discipline and can now move forward on a fresh start.
There is one incredibly important element in this relationship that holds it together……Trust!
The Brat has given her trust to the Top to help guide her on this road. This is why I take this role very seriously. A good Top must always be aware they are interacting with another person on a very emotionally vulnerable level.
There is a very fine line to maintain. It can be too easy to become wrapped up in one’s own role and be solely self aware thus forgetting the other person involved. It is imperative that the Top maintains focus on their action but also the Brats reaction constantly.
The Top trusts the Brat to maintain open and honest communication so that she is able to fulfill her role as Top.
All of us here have this fascination with spanking whether giving or receiving. It is an amazing journey and hopefully rewarding throughout your time in this world. I want to stress as said earlier, this is a safe place to chat, ask questions, any and all questions are welcome, discuss things as they arise . Brats please be yourselves and do what you do best, trust me I know my one will…. Be aware though…. playfulness can be acknowledged by the odd playful swat…. or two…. or three..
Now you know how I view myself as a Top. Your turn ……
Do you see yourself as a Top or a brat? If a Top how would you describe your role? If a brat what are you looking for in a Top?